Review: Faking Normal, by Courtney C. Stevens

 This post was originally published May 2014
#rape tw

Bravery comes one day at a time.

Alexi Littrell is hiding:

• Her habit of compulsively counting the slats in the air vent on her bedroom ceiling.
• Her identity, she hopes, from the mystery boy writing song lyrics on her fourth period desk.
• The back of her neck, where she scratches bleeding holes in her skin to try and make her body hurt like her mind does.
• The identity of her rapist.

Faking Normal was hard to read, for all the right reasons. It was frightening, in that way that contemporary YA can show you horrible things that are completely plausible in a this could happen to you kind of way. It was honest, too. Alexi was raped. (No, there’s no argument about this. She was.) Alexi was raped and she feels conflicted. She knew her rapist, and he felt so bad about it. She never really said the words ‘no’ or 'stop’, and she can’t feel certain that doesn’t make it her fault. She thinks that maybe, if she just pretends, she can get by.

This book is about a relationship, but it’s not about true love. It’s about how, when you’re hurt, letting someone in doesn’t make you weak. It makes you stronger. It’s about getting through hard things and finding the people who will support you and holding on to them as tightly as you can. I wish I’d read this book in high school.

When I read Faking Normal, I didn’t cry. Since I cry at the drop of a hat, this was quite and achievement and I was very proud when I turned the last page of something that hits quite close to home, and my eyes were dry. Of course, I ended up crying my eyes out over the author’s note at the end.

Faking Normal has made it into my cherished shelf of favourites, where it will probably stay forever. If I have kids, I’ll make them read it. If my sister has kids, I’ll make them read it too. Friends who plan on reproducing, look out.